


.strong enough

by AkaToMidori



Series: Better [6]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28571994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaToMidori/pseuds/AkaToMidori
Summary: Nino asks Aiba to meet up just the two of them.
Relationships: Aiba Masaki/Original Female Character(s), Aiba Masaki/Sakurai Sho
Series: Better [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082645
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Sakuraiba Tanabata 2020-2021





	.strong enough

**Author's Note:**

> _Jan 06_  
>  “The world would be far less interesting without the pain.”

Aiba looked at his phone nervously as he tapped his fingers on the table. He had been sitting there for five minutes already, and he was starting to get into his head. He shot a glance at his surroundings and noticed that the place was even more crowded than he first noticed. He sighed as he took off his scarf and opened the buttons of his coat, not making himself too comfortable in case he got a call and needed to leave right away. 

Nino appeared in that moment, heaving as he sat down and shivered from the cold. “I hate the outside world,” he mumbled in lieu of a greeting. 

Aiba smiled weakly at that. In the past, he would have laughed loudly, and maybe even retorted with some witty comeback that Nino would quickly shoot down. But it had been so long since then. He simply didn’t have the strength to do it now. 

Nino took off his coat and his hat—handknitted, Aiba noticed with a pang of jealousy, probably by his loving wife—and stared him down. “So?” 

Aiba blinked, confused. “So what? You were the one who wanted to meet.” 

Nino rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because it’s becoming increasingly difficult to see you nowadays.” 

“The wedding—” 

“That too,” Nino cut him off. He pointed at him. “I’ve been patient enough with this bullshit, Aibasshi, thinking you’d come to your senses, but apparently you won’t.” 

Aiba flinched. “What?” 

“I don’t care what Jun says about you having to get out of this alone, I think this has gone too far,” his friend continued, a determined look in his eyes. “I will never understand why you’re still with her. Can’t you see she’s only capable of hurting you?” Nino gritted his teeth. “Even now, you keep looking at your phone because you know she’ll be mad if you’re not home when she’s back, don’t you?” 

Aiba didn’t reply. 

“You make me so mad,” Nino said, clenching his fists. “You make me so fucking mad, you know? Do you enjoy the pain? Is that why you’re doing this?” 

“I guess the world would be far less interesting without the pain,” Aiba tried to joke with a bitter smile. 

Nino looked at him incredulously for a while. Aiba couldn’t meet his eyes. He knew his friend was just worried about him, but he didn’t understand. Even if he had wanted to leave her now, he couldn’t. Even if he did, then what? He deserved to be unhappy for the rest of his life after what he did to Sho. 

“The others don’t want me to tell you.” 

Aiba looked up at his friend hesitantly. Nino’s jaw was clenched, and for the first time in his life Aiba realized how adult he looked. 

“Sho is leaving.” 

Aiba’s heart sank at those words. “What?”

“He asked to be transferred overseas a few weeks ago. He will be working at the Chinese homebase for his news programme.” 

“When?” 

Nino’s look hardened as he said the next words. “He’s leaving tomorrow, and he said he’s never coming back.” 

***

When Aiba opened the door of his apartment, he found his fiancée’s shoes in the _genkan_. Tension hardened his body and he shivered deeply in his soul as he took off his shoes and put on his slippers, taking care not to make too much noise. 

Walking to the kitchen to get started on dinner, he heard Yumi talking on the phone to a friend. Her voice sounded cheerful and sweet, but Aiba knew better. He remembered thinking of her as a kind and caring person when he had fallen in love with her. She was always happy, and she would give him lots of attentions at first. Aiba never realized until it was too late, that she had started controlling him. She used to bring him down, insult him, make him feel like scum, only to build him up after a while, so that he’d think his worth was in her hands. She made herself indispensable in his life, trying to keep him from seeing his friends, trying to isolate him. He was lucky that he still had his closest friends through it all, but since he had made a mess of his relationship with Sho, they had all felt so distant. After years, Yumi finally got what he wanted: Aiba, truly alone and powerless; trapped. 

“Masaki.” 

Aiba flinched as he heard her voice and her footsteps coming closer. He closed his eyes for a second, feeling his senses become more alert. 

Yumi walked into the kitchen with her phone still in his hands. She looked up from it distractedly as she sat down at the table. “You were out,” she said. 

“Yeah,” Aiba replied, his throat suddenly dry. He gathered the ingredients for soup and put them on the counter. “Yeah, Nino called.” 

Yumi put her phone down and furrowed her brows. “You’re still seeing that good-for-nothing leecher?” 

“He’s my friend,” he said in a tiny voice. 

“He doesn’t have a job and he’s leeching off of his wife,” Yumi retorted. 

“He has a job though…” Aiba whispered. 

Yumi scoffed. “Being a YouTuber is not a job, Masaki.” Her face assumed a concerned expression. “Do I need to be worried? Is he putting ideas in your head?” 

Aiba sighed inwardly. “He’s not. We were just catching up, that’s all.” 

Yumi looked at him in silence for a moment. “Well, no matter.” She started scrolling down her phone again. “You won’t be seeing him again when we get married.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Yumi stopped what she was doing and got up. Aiba felt every muscle in his body contract as she came closer, but she just stopped right in front of him and gave him a smile. 

“Look, Masaki,” she said in a fake sweet tone he knew so well, “we’re getting married soon. We’re getting a family, and you won’t have time to hang out with those loser childhood friends of yours anymore. Alright?” 

It hurt Aiba to nod at those words. 

“Take that Matsumoto, for example.” Yumi snapped her tongue in disapproval. “You think what he does is really modelling? Don’t be naive, Masaki. I’m sure he’s a slut, going around selling his body to the highest bidder.” She shook her head. “And don’t even get me started on that Sakurai…” Her face contracted in disgust. “I’m so glad you’re not seeing him anymore.” 

The pain Aiba felt at the mention of that name only increased hearing those words. He looked away, pretending to be looking for some more vegetables to put in the soup. 

“Sure, he’s a respected newscaster,” Yumi continued, “but he’s an aberration.” 

Aiba opened the tap to fill a bowl, hoping that water would drown out Yumi’s comments. 

“A cock-sucker.” 

Aiba gripped the edges of the bowls so hard that his knuckles became white. 

“A disgusting fag—”

“That’s enough!” 

Yumi failed to disguise her shock at Aiba’s outburst. In all the time they’d been together, he had never once raised his voice with her, even less defied her. She recomposed herself and schooled her face into a harsh expression.

“What did you say?” 

Aiba felt the hairs on his arms raise at her warning tone, but he still stood his ground. “I said it’s enough, Yumi. I can’t take this anymore.” 

She didn’t budge. “What are you saying?” 

“I should have done this years ago.” Aiba clenched his fists with renewed courage. “We’re done. It’s over.” 

Yumi laughed in his face. “Is it, Masaki? And who do you think will ever love you if it’s not me?” She smiled, but it was cold. “You’re spoiled goods and you know it. Not smart enough to graduate college, not good enough to get a prestigious job. Even your friends left you. You will end up alone,” she said, calmly. “Who do you think will love you, Masaki?” 

Aiba felt his heart beat loud in his ears, but let those words pass him through. He had spent years learning from her that he was worthless, defective, and he had believed it all too easily. And when Sho had told him he loved him, he had a hard time wrapping his head around the concept that someone could really think he was worthy of that. That to someone else he wasn’t just a waste of space. Even through all the pain he felt for what he had done to Sho, he was incredibly grateful to him for that gift.

Aiba relaxed his muscles, looking into Yumi’s eyes. “I don’t need you,” he said, forcefully enunciating every word. “Nor do I need anyone else. I am strong enough to love myself.” 

He was expecting Yumi to say something else, and he was ready to fight this time. But apparently his last act of defiance had been too much for her, and she was left speechless. Grabbing his phone and his coat, Aiba left the apartment, closing its door behind his back for the last time in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Next up is the epilogue so Yuuki doesn't kill me ♥


End file.
